Tonight was one of those heartbreaking nights where she simply doesn't feel good. She screamed and cried unless I was holding her because she's hurting. I think its her teeth, they're coming in so fast and I'm not sure what else could be bothering her since she doesn't have a fever.
Holding her to my chest, and having her rest her head on my shoulder my heart aches. I want nothing more than to make everything better. She went to sleep quickly and of course is fine as she rests but a parent can't help but hurt when their children hurt.
I don't think I ever understood that when my mom told me that.
When I was a kid I was accident prone. I was in and out of the hospital with stitches and broken bones. My mom always told me that I made her worry but I figured she was overreacting because of course I'm fine today so she had to know back then that I would be okay.
The first time my little Kai gave herself a bloody lip I was scared half to death. I managed to stay calm and clean her up. I got her settled down with an ice pop and then when I knew she was okay I began to shake and the tears just came. My baby had gotten hurt and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
So this blog is for my mom. I love you so much. I never understood the love and connection that we must have. Every time I cried over a broken heart, broken bone or new set of stitches you were there trying to be strong for me but hurting just as much. When I hurt my hand I was terrified. I thought I would never use it again and at first I even thought there was a good chance I wouldn't make it. But you helped me through everyday and I don't know that I've ever thanked you for your strength and love.
I took so much for granted as I grew up. I was blessed with a mom who loved unconditionally and I took her love for granted. I never grasped the depth of her love or the strength of her character. Thank you mom for helping to shape me into who I am today. Thank you for hurting with me as I weathered each painful storm in my life. But most of all thank you for loving me for who I am, and even when you didn't agree with all of my choices supporting me and allowing me to become the woman I am today. I don't say it enough but I love you with all of my heart and hope that I can be half the mom to my little girl that you were to me!
Well, you know this is the sweetest. You were accident prone and it was scary at times, but the Lord has you in His hands always. He knew this day would come when you too would be a mom, and a wondeful mom at that.
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